Lord Harrison welcomes the women to Tuscany. He gives them the numbers breakdown for the week so they're the correct amount of stressed for each date. He's really sleeping through this speech though: "Great dates... Fun... Arie... No pressure."
Tinkerbex does calculations this whole ep: “It’s almost half of us going home.”
Eerie painfully attempts Italian words throughout this episode. "Casually" leaning against a car, he yells at her: “Ciao, bella!”
Eerie: “Andiamo which means let’s go!”
Becca: “[Traveling with Eerie] is just telling of real life… I went to San Diego with my ex once and that was about it."
Becca: “Never question my feelings for you… I wouldn’t be here.. to be able to open up to you and get to that point.”
Eerie: “I like that.” Pillow Time. Watching Eerie’s hand graze Becca’s arm sends shivers down my spine.
Back at the Hotel…
Jacqueline's having "swirling" doubts and can’t picture Eerie having conversations with her parents.
Back on the Date…
Becca tells Eerie whom he’ll meet in her family who will ask him hard questions. Eerie: “They want honest answers. I love that.” HE SAYS I LOVE THAT ABOUT EVERYTHING I HATE THAT. How can she be into him?
Becca: “I can see a future.”
Pillow Time. Eerie: “That makes me happy.” Becca gets rose. Becca: “I’m not going to say anything stupid right now because I’m so excited.” That was stupid.
Eerie: “I loved today.” Fuck. You. Eerie puts his finger on Becca's mouth during Pillow Time.
Jacqueline’s Knock Knock
Jacqueline goes to Eerie's room. Eerie: “You’re shaking. Are you OK?” Jacqueline: “I’m going to have a sip of your wine.” Eerie: “What’s going on? Am I going to have to drink more wine?”
Jacqueline: “I had this moment of doubt on our date. I wasn’t ready to listen to it at the time… There have been these swirling doubts since then.”
Eerie: “You understand it doesn’t have to happen right away right?”
Jacqueline: “There are women here who are completely confident. I don’t know how to stay when that’s the case. I’m sorry... I’m also just outrageously attracted to you.” Pillow Time. Mixed messages Jacqueline. Jacqueline strokes his thigh then cries into his chest. What is she doing??
Eerie: “If you have any regret you come back to me.” Then she leaves.
Jacqueline sits on the floor crying. Jacqueline: “He’s so unbelievably lovable. Hi Arie you’re perfect in every way and yet I still don’t think I can marry you. OK. See ya... I think I suck at being happy.” I think you’re trusting your gut that this dude suuuuuuuucks.
LB’s so boring jesus christ. She says a bunch of words. Eerie does the coolest bike trick he knows.
LB re: setting: "It’s very Italian." Eerie: "Yeah." The fact that these conversations made the cut means they somehow filmed scenes that were even MORE boring. Eerie: “Pizza in Italy, check!”
Back at the Hotel…
The women discuss the possibility that the connection has to be mutual with Eerie as if it's a huge revelation. Becca: “We have to give those feelings back to him.”
Tinkerbex continues to math: “1/3 of us are going to go home.”
Back on the Date…
LB: “I want to toast to breaking down our walls.”
LB: “I feel like I’m starting to fall in love with you... “You seem like you have something to say about that.” Eerie: “I need to be right back.” Eerie LEAVES THE FUCKING TABLE.
Eerie: "I’m sorry about that." He’s not even going to say why he left? Eerie: “I really do see something between us… So with that, Lauren will you accept this rose?” LB: “Absofrickinlutely.”
LB: "Arie told me he’s falling deeply in love with me." Did he? Ugh, just realized we're going to have to watch an LB hometown.
Eerie: "I have to really feel those emotions with Seinne." COOL. Daww there’s cute truffle puppies. It sounds like this Italian truffle man keeps yelling MAGA! Eerie, the COMPLETE LACKEY HE IS, does a truffle digging metaphor: “I do dig Seinne. But can I dig deep enough?”
Seinne has to do a pre-hometown date with a random Italian family. Eerie: “I used to work at a pizza place.”
Later at Dinner…
Eerie: “Something’s off.” He can't quite put his finger on it... Eerie sends Seinne home.
At the Hotel...
They take Seinne’s bags away. Math time! Tinkerbex: “My odds just went up!”
Villa Group Date
Have they ever done a 3-on-1? Eerie comforts the women: this villa is “crazy cool.” Taxidermist feels confident: "Our moments have been great."
Taxidermist: “I’m extremely close to my family.”
Eerie: “I love that.” Drink.
Tinkerbex to Tia: “At times I have been like I want to go home." Tia's confessional: “I feel like it is my duty to let him know… I’m looking out for Arie.”
Tattle Tia to Eerie: “I feel like she may be on a different page than the rest of us.” Eerie: “I wouldn’t really harp on that too much.”
Tia: “The one constant thing has been my feelings for you.”
Eerie: “I love that.” Pillow Time.
Tia: “I love your lips.”
Eerie: “I love your lips.”
Tia tells Tinkerbex that she raised her doubts with Eerie. Tinkerbex starts crying.
Tinkerbex: “I don’t like when I’m not seen for who I really am... I feel like I just got kicked in the stomach.” Eerie takes some deep Krystal breaths with her and asks if her parents will care about the age difference. Tinkerbex tries to prove her maturity with her white hairs. Eerie gives Kendall the first rose and puts her in a limo. Now it’s a Two-on-One. Colorful Narrator/Tattler Tia: “Whoa Nelly.”
Tinkerbex vs. Tia
They force the women to sit facing each other, waiting for Eerie.
Eerie pulls Tia first. Tia: ”Comparison is a bitch.” Eerie acts as if Tia's being unreasonable in not chillaxing rn: “You stress too much.”
Tia: "I’ve never given my heart to someone who can [protect it]."
Eerie pulls Tinkerbex. Tinkerbex: “There’s parts of me to still see.” Eerie: “I know.”
Eerie is paralyzed by her getting him to picture their Fantasy Suite and can't speak English: “So much of this is trying to be logic, you know?”
Tinkerbex: “It’s going to feel magical to get the rose. Ugh!”
Eerie’s contouring is out of control. Wowwww he sends Tinkerbex home! Tia throws her head back in relief to be done with this step of the torture marathon. Tia: "Arie’s coming to Arkansas!" Tinkerbex graciously leaves: “It’s going to end well for you. I know it is.” Tinkerbex cries in the limo: "It’s hard for me to accept that this journey is over." It's hard for me too.