By: Lizzy Pace
Episode 4 (Air Date: 6/19/17)
Before I get into it, it looks like production for Bachelor in Paradise has started up again. They've done an "internal investigation" and found no wrong-doing... I know I basically said life isn't worth living if they cancel the show but I do sincerely hope this isn't some sort of cover-up. The producers have certainly done some questionable shit before but there's part of me hoping there's a line...
In other news, I finally looked at the racist/sexist/homophobic/otherwise disgusting tweets of Angry Musician Lee. Lord Harrison said that they didn't know about these tweets before but I feel like that's COMPLETE bullshit. Like they didn't look into all the dudes' social media. Oh we just didn't scroll back as far as 2016... They wanted someone with the highest level of racism they could get away with on the show. Look at what this fucking piece of shit said. Highlights include calling Black Lives Matter a terrorist group and saying there's no such thing as a pretty feminist.
Back to my prison, this show...
Racist POS: "You're damn right I enjoy pissing him off. I have so much fun shit-talking on these nights." Racist POS interrupts Wrestler Kenny and Rachel, making it seem like he wanted to talk to Kenny. Kenny asks for 60 seconds.
Racist POS stands to the side, finger-counting down sixteen seconds.
Wrestler Kenny makes a hilarious disapproving face to camera when Racist POS boots him out, due to this being Lee's second chat with Rachel: “Don't like that shit!”
Dean: "I think Lee's a fucking moron... I just think Lee’s kind of a bitch." This made me like Dean SO much.
Meanwhile, Racist POS sucks up to Rachel by showing her how he used his deceased grandfather's knife to carve the word "Enchanted" into a block of wood super shittily.
Racist POS: "I'm here to pull Rachel's heartstrings, and I'm gonna have to cut 30 heartstrings to pull hers."
Dean calls Lee racist to camera: "The only people that I've seen Lee pick fights with have not been the people that uh, he's not used to seeing on a daily basis from a cultural perspective."
Producer: "What do you mean?"
Dean: "You know exactly what I mean when I say that... The longer Lee sticks around the more everyone will become aware of his intolerance."
Wrestler Kenny tells the guys what happened.
Colombian Bryan meanwhile tells Rachel he doesn't see anything anymore except her: "I want you to be vulnerable with me."
Bryan: "Rachel is beautiful, smart, personality-wise is amazing."
Rachel: "You are so charming it scares me... It’s scaring me that it’s too good to be true."
Bryan: "This is a fairy tale... It’s 1000% real... You’re my future." Bryan reminds me so much of aggressive psychopath Josh from Andi's season and BIP III.
Wrestler Kenny confronts Racist POS who says: "Get to it."
Kenny: "You took advantage of our 'friendship' to get more time with Rachel."
Racist POS: "Why would you ever think that?"
Dean: "I hope Kenny punches Lee in the face."
Rachel is with Firefighter Bryce and they hear yelling. Rachel: "This is really happening?"
Racist POS to Kenny: "I just wanted to talk to her real quick."
Lee says: "I gotta do what I've gotta do and sometime's that's gonna make me look like the bad guy. But I get tickled when I smile and an angry man gets angrier."
Kenny: "You fucking tapped me Lee! I thought that you were my friend and you continuously prove that you are not."
Racist POS to camera: "Kenny, you’re fucking going home."
Racist POS to Model Brady: "Number one way you can piss someone off is you just laugh at them and make a fool out of them... It’s not going to put a tear in my beer at all."
Rachel gives us one of the most intense moments yet: "You don't understand the pressures that are going to come with all of this... The pressures that I feel about being a black woman and what that is... I get pressured from so many different ways being in this position and I did not want to get into all of this tonight. I already know what people are gonna say about me and judge me for the decisions that I'm making. And I'm gonna be the one who has to deal with that and nobody else... You have no idea what it's like to be in this position."
Producer: "I don't at all."
Lord Harrison steps in: "We're all here to help you."
Lord Harrison tells the dudes the cocktail party is cut short. Rachel looks stunning. How the fuck is Doll Guy still here? Will, Dean, Hot Peter, The Tickler, Doll Guy, Bryan, Matt, Josiah, Jack Stone, Iggy, Wrestler, and POS Racist get roses.
Racist POS to camera: "Kenny's a big ol' meathead... I wanted to break him down." OK this makes me feel like the producers are evil not warning Rachel. But I guess if you purposefully put a racist dude on The Bachelorette, you're not going to tell her.
I can’t believe Diggy is going home. Bye Firefighter Bryce and Model Brady. Diggy is crying aw.
They head to South Carolina...
They didn’t even show the dudes screaming about traveling?! They ride in on golf carts.
A MILF playing golf waves seductively at them.
New location, new Rachel balcony chant.
One-on-One with Deanie
Dean wants to "show her [he's] more than just a smiley guy."
They drink champagne on a car and then go on a blimp.
Dean is terrified but then Rachel's loving comforts him.
The blimp flies past the guys' hotel room. The guys describe how they think Rachel is into Dean but that he’s too young.
Jack Stone gets the next one-on-one. My friend: “That’s going to be an execution.”
Racist POS to himself: "That's bullshit."
Racist POS to Jack Stone: "There's no shame in going home on a one-on-one."
Josiah: "Lee's an instigator. He's very passive aggressive. He's a little snake who loves to mess with peoples' heads."
Racist POS: "I want to win, and so I'm gonna do what I gotta do, even if it's hurting peoples' feelings." Lee doesn’t have a sliver of interest in Rachel. Lee is new Bentley from Ashley's season.
Later that night at cocktails...
Dean and Rachel bond over not being able to do anything because they came from religious families.
Then Dean reveals that his Mom died of breast cancer and then his family kind of fell apart after that. He tells Rachel she's the first person he's talked to about this??
Rachel says he's the "kind of person [she] wants to be around. That's the kind of partner [she] wants in life." Rachel gives Dean rose and they go dancing.
Dean: "I can feel myself falling in love with her. And it feels really good"
Booze Cruise Group Date
Rachel: "I really hope they leave the drama at home."
The guys go dancing on a booze cruise and Rachel tells them to take their shirts off.
Josiah does push ups with Rachel on his back.
Kenny raps. Next Hot Peter raps. Yikes.
They get off the love boat. Rachel: "I’ve tested their dancing and stripping skills and now I’m going to test their cerebral skills." It's the Bachelor Nation spelling bee.
Lee: "I did not see that coming." Eric was hoping for a wet t-shirt contest. Josiah: "My vocabulary is such on another level."
Adam Junior is in the crowd.
Hot Peter is intimidated by the bee: "Jonathan's a doctor. Anthony's like, a secret genius. Will reads like six books a day."
Lord Harrison emcees: "The word is squirt."
Eric spells Façade in the craziest way.
Lord Harrison: "So some of this can get kind of NC-17. Girls, put your earmuffs on for this one." The three twelve-year-old girl judges put actual earmuffs on for this bit.
Hot Peter has no fucking clue how to spell coitus. Ugh.
Will and Josiah are the top two. Josiah uses his turn to do sultry standup. Lord Harrison: “He’s like a late night DJ.”
Iggy continues to say random combinations of words that no one gives a shit about: "Josiah's just annoying. I don't know if there's like, a more or less annoying Josiah."
Josiah spells Polyamorous right to win.
Josiah makes out with the trophy for too long.
Cocktails later that night...
Josiah drinks from his trophy.
While some dudes have yet to kiss her (Tickler, Iggy, etc.), Rachel and Hot Peter are already talking about moving in together. Rachel reveals to him that she's licensed to practice in Wisconsin, his home state.
Iggy to Rachel: "How you doing sweetie?"
Then he launches into shit-talking Josiah: "We identify people that we see on a regular basis that we don't necessarily feel the same connection with... he’s covering up his insecurities with false bravado. He’s almost a pariah in the group... I’m like, weirdly protective over you."
Iggy then immediately tells Josiah what he did. Josiah: "Why the fuck all y'all talking about me bro?"
Iggy: “There are multiple examples.”
Eric: "You're continuing to be in the sauce of the mixing pot."
Josiah to camera: "With all due respect, Iggy’s a bitch. Instead of focusing on his lame self, his whack self. I'm not even trying to be funny but I'm surprised he's still in the house. He’s the lamest dude in the house. He does drugs. He shoots steroids in his nuts. He confessed to all of us."
Josiah: "He tries to make it into a positive. 'I ain't gonna lie to you, Josiah. I just talked mad shit to Rachel'... He thinks by disclosing his rattish, snitching behavior that somehow justifies or nullifies what the hell he just said to Rachel."
Racist POS tries to explain to Rachel why Wrestler Kenny was yelling at him. He says that his own overflowing positivity somehow is misread by people as disingenuous.
Racist POS: "He screamed at me." Rachel: "Just for interrupting?"
Racist POS: "Yes ma'am. That was it... (making rat face) I love the guy but that came out and confused me and I didn’t talk at all."
Racist POS to camera: "I don’t give a fuck about Kenny and I’m going to enjoy my time with Rachel. And I’m gonna smile. It is what it is."
Racist POS to Rachel: "There’s a side of him that came out that night that was very aggressive toward me and I can't explain it."
Racist POS: "He’s a ticking time bomb... He’s a 220 pound fucking ballerina... I'm gonna find joy in smiling and crumbling his miserable world. Pray for Kenny."
Wrestler Kenny raps at Rachel again and then she asks him about the argument.
Kenny: "I felt like Lee was trying to use our friendship. Like, he was giving me so much shade. I feel like he was baiting me." Rachel asks why, if they made up, Lee told her tonight he was aggressive?
Kenny: "Because maybe Lee doesn't necessarily tell the truth."
Racist POS then tells two of the white dudes: "I can say something shitty about you guys any day of the week that irritates the shit out of me."
Hot Peter makes up more words: "He speaks in a way that I find to be very disingenuine..."
Kenny: "Her body language was very much like, in Lee’s corner... Lee is an alternative facts piece of garbage."
Wrestler Kenny: "If I go home, I’m going to feel fucked up about this entire process."
Kenny: "Aggression without action is talk... I was ten feet away from this guy... He’s a reptilian piece of garbage." Kenny calls Lee over for a chat. Eric to camera, ominously: "You swim in that dark, heavy water, man. You just might drown."
Upcoming Scenes: Lee and Kenny are on the two-on-one date. Kenny is bloody during the day.
Tag: Josiah, Will, and Kenny talk in British accents about GOT and it's adorable.