By: Lizzy Pace
Episode 6 (Air Date: 6/27/17)
Wrestler Kenny vs. Racist POS, Cont'd...
It's the second half of four hours of Bachelorette last week! Wrestler Kenny descends a hill, calling out to Snakey about how he lied to Rachel about pulling him from a van. There's a shot of an eagle AND a snake. But which is which?!
Kenny: "Oh my God snake. Do you ever feel no shame?"
Racist POS: "Jesus loves you."
Kenny: "Jesus don’t love you because you're a piece of shit... I’mma drag my dick across your grave, you son of a bitch... Eat shit and die."
Rachel approaches. Kenny does a 180 in tone: "Hey Rach!"
Rach sits down and tells the guys that she trusts Kenny over Lee.
Racist POS: "That’s OK sweetheart. I want you to know that when he came over here he sat down cussing me out. He told me to go die in a lake."
Rachel takes Kenny to the helicopter, leaving Racist POS in the wilderness. Kenny can't let it go though. Kenny: "My head's about to explode, man. I have to go say goodbye to Lee." He DITCHES Rachel to go back and yell at Lee. You just fucked it up for yourself.
Rachel: "I feel stupid. I look stupid... What could you possibly be saying."
We see that he's saying a bunch of bullshit that he thinks will somehow have ANY effect on Racist POS besides further bolstering his opinion of himself and how out of control Kenny is. Kenny: "So long Snake." Kenny salutes and returns to Rachel.
We don’t get to see Lee’s reaction? Ughhhhhh. Does he come back?
Rachel and Kenny
Rachel asks Kenny about his outburst: "I walked away with you. You leave me to go back to him. Why?"
Kenny explains that he's "verbal" and doesn't want to "bottle things up... I feel like I have a long fuse but if it goes off, it goes off." Kenny gets the rose.
Kenny Facetimes his daughter and cries.
Kenny's daughter: "No Daddy. Don’t cry... You deserve to be happy. If you really like her then you really like her."
Kenny cries down the hall. WHERE’S KENNY’S BLOODY FACE??? I KNEW HE WAS WEARING A DIFFERENT COLORED SHIRT!! Bastards have done it again.
I can’t believe gumby Matt is still here. Roses for Dean, Eric, Peter, Alex, Adam, Matt. Goodbye confident Josiah and gentle giant Anthony.
Josiah roasts everyone on his way out, which is great: "It's just weird dude. The people that she kept in that house over me. Do you think you could have a better chance with Matt than me? And I love Alex-- the Soviet Union KGB spy-- but you really think that KGB agent has something over me? And I love Adam, but you think a guy who brings a doll that looks like Mike Meyers is better than me?"
Someone’s holding the doll behind the window for this shot.
They go to Denmark!
Eric yells at Rachel off a bridge. Then he screams IN Rachel's mouth.
Anthony was the first one-on-one between two black people. I didn’t even think about the significance of that.
Eric and Rachel discuss how many kids they want to have. They sit at an empty table. Suddenly there’s an old man sitting there who thinks they're married.
They get in a hot tub on the pier. A naked homeless man flashes them. My friend insists that the dude is mic'ed but this is a VERY weird thing to pre-plan.
Eric: "Best date ever!"
Back at the Hotel...
WILL GETS ONE-ON-ONE!!! Despite Matt's high hopes...
Back to Rachel and Eric...
They go to the amusement park, Tivoli. Rachel describes them as "childhood boyfriend and girlfriend playing around."
At drinks, Eric tells Rachel that his Mom didn’t love him and he very much sounds like a child.
Rachel gives unlovable Eric a rose and he makes this face.
VIKING GROUP DATE
The guys row a Viking boat with several random old men.
They land on a beach where two adult men are sword-fighting. They then tell the guys they don't look like Vikings. Is this a racial thing? Their clothes? This combo date to mock the dudes AND the culture reminds me of the gaucho date with Marine Alex.
Russian Alex: "These group dates involve two things: Dressing up! And being physical. I'm literally meant for this."
The dudes are wearing ugly headmasks but Hot Peter and Dean smartly opted out.
They participate in a series of semi-sexual, semi-violent Viking games.
It's Adam vs. Wrestler Kenny in the final round. Both get shields to the eyebrow and are bloodied.
Later at Drinks...
Rachel: "Here’s to you guys pillaging my feelings and raiding my heart."
Bryan says a bunch of nonsense to Rachel about how when they "peel back those layers" things are going to be a "fairy tale". Bryan: "Do you realize how it's gonna be?... My family is very open."
Wrestler Kenny senses he's going to be dumped soon so he tells Rachel that he's having a hard time being away from his daughter. He says he's worried about involving her in hometowns and then not getting chosen.
Rachel says he should go home.
Kenny Facetimes his daughter in his exit interview. She says, "I'm just proud of you that you made it that far."
I’M SO EXCITED FOR THIS.
Rachel: "He’s a handsome confident guy but when he’s around me he clamps up."
Will: "I didn’t fall asleep last night I was too excited." AHHHH I LOVE YOU. They go to Sweden. They watch a weird street performer and dance. They play a game with some hobbits.
Who are all these random people? Rachel and Will are now sitting across from an old couple who tell them their secrets for a long marriage.
EW WHY ARE THESE PEOPLE KISSING???? I'M HERE FOR HOT PEOPLE KISSING!!!
Rachel: "The most that Will's done today is hold my hand."
It’s so awkward. We hear the wind.
LATER AT DRINKS...
Rachel asks what Will is attracted to. He admits to her that he's basically only dated white girls due to "the pool that I was working with... Not only..."
Back at the Hotel...
Eric tells the guys that he told Will to tell Rachel he's only been into white girls. He should not have done that.
Dean tells us something no one is surprised by: "I mean, I've never, like, really dated a black woman before."
Back on the Date...
Rachel tells Will she didn't feel today that he wanted her. NOOOOO RACHEL DUMPS WILL!!!!
WHY AM I WATCHING THIS UGH WHAT A NIGHTMARE!!!!
Will goes home. Trump is President and Will goes home. I REJECT THIS TIMELINE!!!
Rachel ponders her love prospects in the cold on some rocks.
It’s always so weird when they say a message to the group and the guys don’t know which individual she’s talking to. Rachel: "To the man I have to say goodbye to tonight..."
Roses for Matt, Dean, DOLL GUY!! WHAT?! It turns out Russian Alex was "that man" and he goes home.
Tag: Someone on the Viking group date says, "If we were playing pretty little princess, yeah, [Dean] would win." :)