By: Lizzy Pace
Episode 8 (Air Date: 7/17/17)
It's arguably the best week of the Bachelorette journey: Hometowns. And three of the final four have huge, fucked up issues with their families. What a wonderful gift from Lord Harrison for Bachelor Nation!
Eric's Hometown in Baltimore
Rachel's first family visit is with Eric. He shows her the good parts of Baltimore but he says, "this is not the realness of where Eric comes from."
But where is the realness? Eric drives her to the other part of town, pointing out his favorite landmarks such as people selling drugs, to the basketball court he grew up playing on.
Eric's cousin joins them and backs up Eric's story of how he studied and avoided the bad temptations growing up. Cuz: "This whole frame right here is looking right."
They both sit on basketballs and discuss being back on "this court that made you."
With his family, Eric says, "just be Rachel." I think I mistook Eric being so infatuated with Rachel as him being drunk on his one-on-one. He is going to get CRU-USHED... Look at this face...
For someone who harped on how he raised himself, there are a LOT of family members at this visit.
Eric's Aunt is awesome and grills Rachel on the "R-A-C-E word" and how difficult it is being the first black Bachelorette.
Rachel explains how she has a lot of pressure on her and her choices from different groups, but "love doesn't have a color."
Eric talks to the Mom that he said doesn’t love him and she's fun: "Have you prepared yourself if it was to go the other way?"
Eric: "Life is hard. What doesn't hurt?"
Eric's Mom tells him that she didn't like how a lot of guys lean on their Moms so that's why she didn't support him. Eric's Mom: "That was my best way of showing you love."
Eric's Dad stares 1000 yards into his parental failings, located in the sofa.
Eric tells Rachel he loves her in a bizarre way: "I was like, 'Damn, I really love this girl.' And what I mean by that is I really care about you like, a lot. Like, I care about your well-being." Rachel misinterprets this as him not fully saying I love you.
Bryan's Hometown in Miami
Rachel: "Miami just screams Bryan. It's hot. It's steamy. There's something sexy about it. Sometimes it speaks to you in Spanish."
Bryan wants to show her the "Real Miami" so he takes her to play dominos with some elderly locals that he doesn't know in a place he's clearly never been before.
They lose badly at dominos because this is something Bryan's never done before. He calls the real Miami "Worldwide" because he's Pitbull with hair.
They go dancing with a bunch of other men in red.
Bryan feeds Rachel arepas and considers eating her.
Bryan tells Rachel how this is a big moment for his Mom because he's her only son.
They discuss how his last breakup was caused because of the ex not getting along with the Mom. Bryan says it in a super cool way: "It was not on [my family] but more on the other person."
He tries to skirt by this gigantic red flag with another creepy Bryanism: "I'm kind of obsessed to see you smile."
We finally meet the family of this prize. Bryan's Mom, Olga, is in love with him. Olga: "Bryan's my life. He's my love, he's my pride."
Olga gulps up her drink meeting Rachel, and Bachelor Nation flashes back to Jojo's Mom meeting Unlovable Ben.
Olga asks Bryan what he sees in Rachel and he says, "She's beautiful inside and out, personality."
Olga is a maniac and I love it. Olga: "You have gone out with SO many girls, and you go to a show and you fall in love with the girl of the show? I'm in shock. You have had the opportunity to meet so many girls and you haven't found yours." Bryan: "I feel like it's destiny."
Olga makes her first of several threats against Rachel: "She knows that if she messes with the mother, that's not good. That's not being smart. Because of course, mother is mother. We are blood."
Rachel talks to his sister? I thought he was only child. Maybe his Dad's kid? Rachel brings up red flag: "she really didn't get along with the family?" Sister figure says a normal sentence: "Nope. And that was her demise."
Sister figure repeats AGAIN that it was this girl's "demise."
Next, Olga threatens Rachel to her face! Olga: "Bryan is my life... You are marrying the family too... Because some women want him only for themselves... If not, I will kill you."
Olga admits Rachel has trustworthy eyes but she's still skeptical, "'cause he's my love of my life."
Is Olga's love reciprocated? Maybe not. Bryan is outside telling Rachel he loves her and Rachel makes this face which makes me worried he's going to win.
Rachel: "I am letting myself feel all the feels." SHE DOESN'T DESERVE TO BE TRICKED BY LYIN BRYAN'S CHEEK IMPLANTS. UGH.
Hot Peter's Wisconsin Hometown
Next, Rachel visits Hot Peter in Wisconsin.
Hot Peter shows her a typical day in his life, going to the farmers market and eating honey from a man in a honeycomb hat while fifty strangers watch over his shoulder.
Hot Peter then does something super weird. He brings Rachel to the bar he had his bon Bachelorette voyage party, which he treats as if it was some sort of super important ceremony. He then springs his friends upon Rachel, two pairs of interracial couples, to "see if she can fit seamlessly into that group."
Rachel reveals something Peter said offscreen which is even weirder: "I have ten really close friends. 8 out of 10 are black." Peter's friend: "Did he pull out his card too, from his wallet?" Rachel says she asked how many were black women and he says none. So, this is the lunch to prove that he's not racist?
His friend reiterates his point: "Peter's a pretty like, accepting dude. He treats everybody the same." Hot Peter, as he's starting to seem less hot: "Can I steal the gentlemen for a little guy time?"
During Guy Time, Hot Peter searches for outside approval of Rachel: "She fits in well?... But I don't know her on a daily basis. To wake up next to this person and I'm still feeling these feels for this person, right?" Ugh.
Hot Peter: "The idea is three weeks from today I should be able to get down on one knee and propose to her. And it's fucking terrifying."
Peter's friends are a lot chiller than him and know Rachel's the shit: "Don't fuck it up."
Rachel meets Peter's family...
Peter holds his niece and tells his parents about how he "accidentally grabbed Rachel's butt."
My friend points out Peter's sister is the Wisconsin Julia Stiles.
Peter's sister says Peter is ready for this but then Rachel asks Peter's Mom. She says, "Not necessarily." He's ready for "a commitment but not a proposal."
Peter does NOT tell Rachel he loves her, only that he is happy. Peter: "I'm afraid that this maybe be one of the last times I see her."
Dean's Hometown in Aspen
Dean wears maroon tights for this date. Maybe the apple doesn't fall too far from the eccentric tree.
Rachel: "Dean is what I like to refer to as my beautiful surprise." They go dirtbiking or whatever this dirt activity is called.
Dean explains his eccentric father to Rachel, saying that he has become a Sihk and wants to be called Parumrup, which means "divinely beautiful." His new wife is called Santantar.
Rachel: "Why haven’t you talked to your Dad in two years?"
Dean: "Is it my responsibility to talk to my Dad?"
Rachel: "Have you ever said you weren’t here for me? Maybe you should tell him he wasn't."
Dean: "This is going to be awful."
Rachel: "I’m going to be right here."
Rachel meets Dean's family...
My friend aptly nicknames Parumrup, Gong Dad. Gong Dad: "We’re waiting for King Dean to show up." Dean, FREAKED: "Where’s the table at? Why are we all on the floor?"
Gong Dad makes everyone lie down and listen to the gong.
It should be noted that Dean's brother is also super hot.
Gong Dad gives Rachel and Dean feathers to represent his late wife and Rachel loves it.
They eat a "mung bean" dinner on the floor and Dean throws shade: "I wish I didn't eat before I came here."
Gong Dad asks to talk to Dean alone and so everyone else leaves the room?
Gong Dad says Dean has changed, "This is not the same Dean I knew a year ago... You're talking from your male chakra." Dean drinks to deal.
Dean’s sister and Rachel sit on a swing and Dean's sister starts crying, "He’s been through a lot and been so strong. I’ve been really weak." Oof.
Gong Dad: "I must be a pretty great Dad because look at my son."
Dean: "Do you feel like you’re still fulfilling things as a father?"
Gong Dad: "I didn’t have the arguments. You did."
Gong Dad: "How could I understand your frustration?... It was horrible watching your mother die."
Dean: "I personally felt abandoned... Dad, I'm trying to work through this with you."
Gong Dad: "What is there to work through, Dean?" He tells him he didn't know how to be a mother. Dean: "So how is that a bold statement when it's true?!"
Gong Dad: "You’re still living there. You’ve still got one fucking foot stuck in the past!"
Gong Dad storms out and Rachel tries to talk to him. Gong Dad: "If you must. I’m really kind of done."
Rachel tries to connect with him as they sit by the fire, telling him about how Dean is her beautiful surprise. The yard is filled with a lot of weird backdrop paintings. Gong Dad: "I honor the whole thing." Then he notices the cameras and gets up, "No!"
Rachel checks on Dean, who is catatonic on the floor.
Gong Dad peers in window.
Dean: "I know that I'm falling in love with you." Rachel: "I'm falling in love with you too."
Rachel: "The only thing I’m sure of is I’m falling for four men. I can't imagine them not being part of my life."
Rachel chats with Lord Harrison and tells him how Bryan is the only one who said "I love you."
Rachel is a fucking gem. She's the first person to talk about how she feels guilty for being "so selfish" in this process and she starts crying. Ugh, she BETTER not end up with Bryan.
Rachel does that thing in the rose ceremony where she explains how she's sorry "to the person that I have to say goodbye to tonight" before that person even knows who he is.
Roses for Bryan, ERIC?!. For a second I think she's going to let go of Hot Peter over Dean. RACHEL LETS GO OF HER BEAUTIFUL SURPRISE!!!!!!!
She just made Dean go through hell though!! He is young, and clearly still working through some shit. Beautiful surprise: "I told you I was falling in love with you and you said the same thing."
Rachel: "I meant that."
Beautiful Surprise: "I just think that tonight, she made a mistake." Is Dean going to be the next Bachelor?!
Final Three is tonight!!!!!!!!